Thru the Peephole: Musings on the Strange, Interesting, and Maddening Characters We Meet “On the Road”

Chapter 1: A Case of the (Chapped) Ass

Did you ever stop to think about all the Interesting, Weird, and Whacked-out People you have met while riding out and about this country? My buddy Doug and I seem to meet our share (or maybe more than our share… is it us?).

It all started back in 1977, soon after we had gotten our first BMW’s… two Glimmering Black Beauties. With only a few months street riding experience under our belts, we set out for Denver and the Rockies to visit with my old Army buddy, Don. Our BMW’s were basically “stock” bikes, especially the seats! (“stock” is the proper word for the /5 factory seat… it was like sitting on a Cow for a week and a half!)

After rain delays, and fog, and smog, and ripping rainsuits (we quickly learned that those “buck two- ninety-eight” jobbies from K-Mart’s camping section were not the ticket!), we got to Denver and Don… totally worn out… especially our seats! From our first sighting of the Rockies way out east of Denver, I think my rear actually only touched the saddle on rare ocassion,… I was standing, scooting, scrunching, and scowling anywhere but on the seat!

After warm greetings, we unloaded our bikes, and out popped Don’s neighbor, the “Norton Commando” (thus named for obvious reasons). As we alternated between unpacking and rubbing our numb posteriors, the “Commando” asked, “Hey guys, after ya’ll rest awhile, maybe this evenin’ or sumthin’, you wanna take a bike ride up in the mountains for a couple of hours? I can show you around!”

A Couple Hours?!?

Minutes… seconds more on that overstuffed horseshoe of a seat would have been Sheer Hell !! But, Pro’s that we are, Doug and I both managed to say, “Gee… no thanks… think we’ll pass!” (instead of beating him severely with an old, broken /5 centerstand (is there any other kind?) We toured Denver very comfortably in the next few days… on the well-cushioned seats of Don’s Audi !!